During an interactive three-hour session hosted by CFA Society Toronto, Jennifer Gibbs, CEO and Executive Coach at Jennifer Gibbs Coaching, provided women leaders with a dedicated space to identify, assess, and question some of the thoughts and beliefs that frame our decision-making and influence how we present ourselves as leaders. Gibbs encouraged attendees to examine the usefulness of certain long-held beliefs and help us find ways to “be the CEOs of our own lives.” 

These sessions offer incredible value as they allow for honest reflection and assessment of why we may be holding ourselves back, not taking specific opportunities, or even sabotaging our career development. By sharing these stories, we not only learn techniques from each other, but we discover that others have experienced and overcome similar situations, which is incredibly empowering.

As a personal example, early in my career, I attended a women’s networking event at which a very senior, highly successful female leader, who projected nothing but confidence, confided in us that she still felt nervous during presentations. For those in attendance, it validated the similar fears we felt and provided hope that if she felt that way, we would be ok. 

These moments of honesty can be transformative in helping us understand we are not alone. But on to a few points I took from this session. 

Reading your emotions

Gibbs wove psychology-based concepts into the workshop and offered attendees valuable insights into our beliefs about our abilities and how we ultimately show up as leaders. For one of the many exercises, we reflected on the most common emotions we feel at work and how these emotions appear in the body. The idea of being conscious of the effects of emotions in the body appeared to be a new one for many of the attendees. You might be wondering why this would be a powerful tool. Emotions can impact your body movements, breathing, heartbeat, and tension. You may not realize you are feeling a specific emotion, but your body will. So if you are aware that a particular emotion leads to a distinct feeling in the body, you can work to address the cause of that emotion. For example, when I am anxious, my body gets tense, my chest tightens, and my shoulders start scrunching and rounding forward. If I am in a situation at work and notice this change in my body, I can try to recalibrate. Am I in a meeting where I feel unprepared and might need to take a break and reorganize my thoughts, or do I need to take a few slow deep breaths, have a quick internal pep talk, and then continue? Is there a particular negative belief that is leading to this anxiety? 

You are the thinker, not the thought

One of Gibbs’s sayings particularly resonated: “You are the thinker, not the thought—become the boss of your brain.” She explained that our brains will find evidence to support our thoughts. During one exercise, we were asked to assess our perception of the same situation (we are faced with a difficult problem at work for which we must find a solution) using two different sets of thoughts or beliefs: 

• First set: I don’t know what to do. I can’t do it. This is too hard. I don’t know what I’m doing. I should just listen to what person X says. 
• Second set: I can figure this out. I am the right person for the job. I can do this. 

Do you notice a difference? For each set, the brain will successfully find evidence to support those beliefs. With the first, it might find evidence of times you were unsuccessful in finding a solution or that “prove” you are not the right person for the job and that someone else would be better suited to resolve the issue. However, with the second set, the brain will remember those times you were able to figure something out, when you were faced with obstacles and were successful in finding a solution, or when you persevered even when you were not sure you would get to a resolution. It is your choice which beliefs you use to frame your situation. 

“Is this belief serving me?”

Each person’s lifetime of experiences, failures, and successes has helped build up their beliefs. Gibbs pointed out that people tend to think they have no control over their thoughts; they don’t recognize that their thoughts are optional. How empowering to realize that I get to decide which beliefs I keep and which I let go! One way of determining which beliefs to keep or discard is to ask yourself: 1) Is this belief true or not? 2) Is this belief serving me? If the belief isn’t serving you, then how can you reframe it to empower you? 

Conclusion

I recommend this session or others put on by Gibbs. There were several opportunities for open and honest discussion with those in our groups and in the wider room about some of the beliefs holding us back in our careers and methods to overcome them. There is comfort in learning that others hold the same negative beliefs, but more important is the empowerment in gaining the tools to overcome them. We are the bosses of our brains and we get to decide which beliefs serve us, choose how we frame situations, and get rid of those beliefs that only hold us back. 

This article provided only a taste of the frameworks and concepts used in the session. Interested in this topic and in learning more? Subscribe to Jennifer Gibbs’s newsletter and read her blog at jennifergibbscoaching.com/blog, follow her on Instagram @jennifergibbscoaching.